please don't tell me everything is wonderful now

[Myranda]

Promises mean everything when you're little and the world's so big. I just don't understand how you can smile with all those tears in your eyes and tell me everything is wonderful now.

He was sitting in his room playing Hungry Hungry Hippos with Justin when Kyle knocked on his door. She was as pale as a ghost, and even Justin could sense something was wrong. Whatever it was, he wondered if Kyle already knew, or if she could sense something also. He held her hand the entire way to the dining room, where he sat down in front of their parents. Their eyes were tired and had given up trying to look lively for the kids, the country club, and the rest of Rosewood. "Your mother and I are getting divorced."

The words still, as he sat in his friend Krista's living room, rang through his ears. He had been so infuriated by them that he proceeded to knock on his father's door and give him a piece of his mind. "Let's talk," he had said, "Man to man. Father to father. Not father to son." By the end of the mostly one sided conversation Brandon had succeeded in making the man who fathered him feel worthless and even start to cry. But, Brandon was okay with it, and even thought his dad deserved it. How could he possibly say that he loved his kids when he had just ripped out their hearts and swallowed them whole?

You rely on your father to protect you. You trust him, and you believe anything he says. As a little boy, especially, you worship your father. You want to be just like him. Brandon no longer knew what he should base a good man off of. It seemed as though 'dad' had turned into a monster. The man had been the first to find out about Justin. He was not only a father but a best friend. He felt like suddenly he had been ripped from reality and thrusted into one of his mom's soap opera's.

Brandon couldn't feel so sorry for himself when he had his mother to worry about. He'd always been protective over the two most prominent women in his life; Kyle and his mom. The fact that his dad had the nerve to break his mom's heart caused Brandon to hate him. It broke Brandon's heart, too. His dad hadn't cheated on his mom, he had cheated on his family.

Brandon's biggest fear used to be spiders, but he now decided that the downfall of his family was the scariest thing of all. Justin lay sleeping on the couch, and Brandon and Krista talked quietly in the kitchen. "You know, Krista, I really appreciate you letting us stay the night here,-" Krista cut him off, "But you need some time alone? I'll watch Justin for you, I promise." She gave him a sympathetic smile. Brandon smiled back, standing slowly and finally walking out of the apartment.

Brandon found himself driving to the beach, now about nine o'clock at night. Everything had hit him so fast. He didn't know how to function properly, or whether or not he should go home tomorrow. He was in that rocky cove again, with that little pond Justin would always swim in. The place was quiet, except for Brandon's uneven breath. Despite everything he was unsure about he knew for certain one thing; he was going to be the best damn father this city had ever seen. And he sure as hell wouldn't be crediting his own father to that.

[Jenny]

[Myranda]

The song had been stuck in his head since he left his house. And I don't wanna meet your friend. And I don't wanna start over again. I just want my life to be the same, just like it used to be. Some days, I hate everything. I hate everything; everyone and everything. Please, don't tell me everything is wonderful now. It addressed his newest fear; he would have to meet his father's mistress. If that happened, he didn't know what he'd do. He'd want to spit on her, or hold her head under water for a few minutes. Maybe even kick her in the shins. He knew Kyle would feel the same way. Their father cheated. And undoubtedly, he was on his way to her house right now. Brandon had to admit- he kind of hated everything right now.

And nothing was wonderful now. It would never be wonderful again. They had the perfect life, and in the blink of an eye it was gone. Maybe they thought the kids were old enough to handle a divorce now. Maybe they'd hated each other for a long time now. Maybe he'd had a mistress all along. Brandon coughed, his throat tightening into a familiar knot. He felt the ned to vomit, but unlike his sister had enough self control not too. He wondered what Kyle was doing at the park all alone. Probably the same thing he was doing; sitting alone and thinking. Letting the wound fester a bit before he could even think about letting it heal.

He got to thinking that he had to rely on his friends for closure. He didn't have to talk about it if he felt uncomfortable, but he had to force all of his energy into being happy; for Justin's sake. That's why he was relieved when Hailey came up to him, though it was odd. He had been seeing her everywhere lately. He doubted she was stalking him, it was just a small town. He enjoyed her company. Especially on a night like this. "What are you doing here?" He asked, probably sounding rude, though it wasn't intentional. "I mean," he started to correct himself. "Alone."

He always felt weird about seeing girls wander around on their own at night time. A guy Brandon's size would not get raped or kidnapped. But, a tiny little thing like Hailey could get snatched up in a heartbeat. That's why it bothered him to leave Kyle by herself. If something ever happened to Kyle, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself.

[Jenny]

[Myranda]

Interesting. He had just been thinking about friends. He pressed his lips together, hesitantly choosing his words carefully. The question wasn't whether or not he wanted to tell her the real reason he was here, but whether or not he trusted her enough to. Everybody in Rosewood was perfect- it was seemingly a Utopia. But, everybody had secrets underneath. And though he considered that, Brandon still doubted that if he told her the real reason she'd understand.

So, he'd just lie to her. Again.

"Yeah, same. Just wanted to go for a walk." He said. It wasn't completely a lie, but it sure wasn't the truth. The truth was he was tired of talking to Krista about what he had just experienced. Her response was always just, "All wounds heal with time." But she was wrong. This wouldn't heal with time. It wouldn't heal at all. How can it? This hurt a billion times worse than it did when Willow left him. That was his father, for Christ's sake. Brandon's role model was an adulterer, a liar, a cheater... He was weak. At least Brandon knew of the opportunity for him to cheat on his wife ever arose he would be steong enough to decline the offer. That was more than he could say for dear old dad.

No, buddy, you just gotta go fast. Did you see your brother do it? A six year old Brandon flashed into the nineteen year old's mind. I'm too scared, Daddy... What if I fall? He asked his father, looking up at him from his two-wheeler bicycle without the trainers. Well, I'll catch you, of course. His dad replied. Let's go! The two began to move down the street, until Brandon came to a suddens stop and fell to the side. There was a little girl his age crossing in front of him, as he stared. A three year old Kyle came down the street, in a pink tricycle and matching helmet. Brannon's got a girlfrienn! Brannon's got a girlfrienn! She giggled. Their dad chuckled. Careful, there, sport. The worst crime you can commit is to break a girl's heart.

Brandon's memory faded. It was a memory he had never remembered until now, but it seemed so clear. He clutched a handful of sand. Then what does that make you, dad? A criminal. He thought, bitterly to himself as he looked away from Hailey. He pretended to be very interested in a pile of sea weed.

[Jenny]

Hailey gave a small nod, feeling how tense it was in the small, rocky cove. It was unnerving to say the least. Awkward and tense moments seemed to be a thing between her and Brandon. Well, especially in this one spot. It was hard to not walk away from, but she stayed put, not moving from her spot.

She glanced at Brandon. "Walks are nice," she murmured softly, pulling her knees to her chest. "Uhm, wanna come back with me? To the fire? ...only if you want though," she said awkwardly. She wanted to be around the nice warm fire. It felt awkward sitting with your friends and they were snuggled up to their boyfriend and you were the only one alone.

[Myranda]

Brandon didn't know that he wanted to be around other people right now. Not to say that he didn't want to be around Hailey, because he did. She calmed him down when all that was running through his veins was pure emotion. He looked at her and pressed his lips together. "Maybe. I don't know how willing I am to be around people right now." But, he didn't want her to leave, so he quickly added, "If you want, we could start our own fire here. There's enough wood, and I've got a lighter. Not to mention, it's kinda nice having someone I know around." He said, searching her for a reaction.

"I don't want to keep you from your friends or anything, though." He added quickly. He sounded so selfish to himself just then. If he wanted someone he knew around, he should go find Kyle. Or go back to Krista's. But that just didn't sound appealing. What he should have said was, "It's nice to have you around." But he couldn't quite find the courage for that.

[Jenny]

Hailey smiled at him. "I get it," she nodded. "We can stay here," she told him, understanding how it felt to not really want to be around other people. Especially since he didn't even know them. "A fire here sounds wonderful," she told him.

"It was awkward being around the fire with them. They all had their boyfriends and stuff and I don't have one so I was kind of alone," she laughed lightly. "Thats mostly why I went on a walk, but I'm glad I found you," she told him with a smile. "I guess now were not so alone. Were...alone together," she smiled. "So lets start that fire," she said, standing up.

Seth sat alone on one of the rocky cliffs a little to the side of the beach. His feet were hanging off the edge and a good sixty feet below were the rocky waters. He was debating a good many things at the moment, one of them being death. He was beginning to realize how messed up he really was. He had almost killed his own brother over the summer. His own brother for christs sake! Maybe if I jump in the right place it can be insta-death, he thought to himself.